'Mystery Science Theater 3000' Announces Next Three Films For Potential Season 14

The Turkey Day marathon schedule has also been laid out

Mystery Science Theater 3000 held its final watchalong for its season 14 crowdfunding campaign last night, featuring the season 13 episode The Mask, hosted by writer and cast alum Tim Ryder, joined by creator and original star Joel Hodgson, writer and voice of GPC and portrayer of Synthia, Rebecca Hanson, and very briefly by writer and voice of Emily’s GPC Yvonne Freese. As promised, Joel revealed the movies that will hopefully be riffed in episodes 4 to 6 of the new season.

First up we have 2009’s Ballistica, which as Joel’s synopsis goes has Paul Logan starring as Damian Sloan, one of the few United States citizens fully trained in the art of using ballistics and firearms in hand-to-hand combat. Also starring Martin Kove from the The Karate Kid franchise and Robert Davi from Die Hard, The Goonies, and six episodes of Stargate: Atlantis, Hodgson’s synopsis finishes by asking “You can just smell the testosterone, can’t you?” In revealing the film mid-stream, Hodgson describes it as having plenty of “poetic gunplay”, with guns going directly up to one another in full contact frequently with choreographed jumps back for more gunplay, almost “ballet with guns” as he’d soon put it. As Ryder remarked, that’s not how guns work.

Next up is the 1991 Canadian film Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe starring Jesse Ventura. What happens when an alien cop, Abraxas is sent to Earth in order to track down the rogue Secundus who impregnate human women with mutant embryos? Joel and the crew still aren’t sure. Secundus wants to become a god by using the Anti-Life Equation. He impregnates a human woman so the child can solve the equation when he is older, so they must be stopped before they can destroy the universe. But with Ventura starring, you’re in for…something. Oh yeah and there’s a Jim Belushi cameo.

And finally, we have the 1982 New Zealand film Battletruck! This post-apocalyptic film stars The Warriors’ Michael Beck as a futuristic motorcyclist who battles a truck OK, it doesn’t sound very cool, nor is it but here’s a better picture of what kind of apocalyptic devastation we’re dealing with: Earth has been devastated by the “Oil Wars", a series of wars over depleting petroleum reserves. The regions around the oil-producing Mesopotamia Basin are largely radioactive wastelands because of limited nuclear exchange. Middle Eastern oil fields burn uncontrollably. Food riots are commonplace in global cities which are now under martial law. Much of the American rural countryside has become lawless because a majority of the military and police attention has shifted there. Many people flee rurally to find food and any remaining fuel reserves.

The latest update also provides the schedule for the Mega Turkey Day Marathon Telethon, which starts tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day at 9 AM Eastern, running until Saturday, November 25 at the same time. The first two days will be listed unaltered because it’s much more to weave through, while the finishing Saturday portion will be presented in prose.

Thursday 11/23

9AM ET/6AM PT: Bride Of The Monster

11AM ET/8AM PT: The Pumaman (Surgically Enhanced)

1PM ET/10AM PT: Escape 2000

3PM ET/12PM PT: Beyond Atlantis

5PM ET/2PM PT: The Beatniks

7PM ET/4PM PT: Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

9PM ET/6PM PT: The Giant Gila Monster

11PM ET/8PM PT: The Starfighters (Surgically Enhanced)

Friday 11/24

1AM ET/10PM PT: Munchie

3AM ET/12AM PT: Master Ninja II

5AM ET/2AM PT: Catalina Caper (Surgically Enhanced)

7AM ET/4AM PT: Operation Kid Brother

9AM ET/6AM PT: The Bubble

11AM ET/8AM PT: Time Chasers

1PM ET/10AM PT: Horror Of Party Beach (Surgically Enhanced)

3PM ET/12PM PT: Prince Of Space

5PM ET/2PM PT: Dr. Mordrid

7PM ET/4PM PT: Girl In Gold Boots

9PM ET/6PM PT: Stranded In Space

11PM ET/8PM PT: Gorgo

For Saturday, it starts with season 13’s premiere episode Santo in the Treasure of Dracula, before the marathon is finished off by the holiday collection alluded to in the announcement, all of which I guessed correctly: the Joel-era Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the Mike era Santa Claus, and the season 13 finale The Christmas Dragon. The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t was the only one of last year’s Christmas tributes at the Gizmoplex didn’t manage to get a slot in this lineup.

So tune in, donate, and help the campaign reach the goal! And keep circulating the links.

Source: Showmaker